20100422 prcjlogrb treasure of quest_rescue_vagueness

22/04/2010 prcjlogrb treasure of quest_rescue_vagueness

Index

19:38

P Now I have a question. Has work on the inner planes taken particularly your attention, Janet, at times of seeming lassitude or any other particular time? And I'm wondering whether when we are particularly vacant, you might say, the possible reason for that is that we are just busy elsewhere and don't know it? So if we get the opportunity I'll put that question. …

J I would like to give thanks for the opportunity again to meet together as a group with spirit in order to enhance our knowledge of the reality of the spiritual plane and to help us understand ourselves and life on this planet. I would ask that we be surrounded by the quality of while light that serves to protect us from those who come with lower intent and equally to attract those from the higher realms. I ask that our personal auras be the focus of our attention and see these in their wider context, moving outwards and connecting with those of the other members of the group. The connection of these energy levels creates a glow in the centre of the circle and watch as it increases in intensity, similar to a flame. And I would invite those who await an opportunity to speak to us to draw nearer and bless us with their knowledge? … Richard, you are being overshadowed. Can you accept this entity and speak for him please?

R I'm happy to accept this entity but I don't have any inkling of any message.

J Please sit with the entity. … And that is sufficient thank you. …

20:00

Peter, the energy is before you now.

P It feels a bit like it's come in for a cuddle. … I seem to have offered it nurturing. No words, just a kind of mental attitude or emotional attitude. Very unusual. It seems to be emerging a bit bigger and brighter than before, somehow more confident. Very subtle. And no words at all, as if it doesn't know English. … I can't see it or feel it any more.

J Thank you.

P It somehow had the feeling of a Chinese background or being Chinese. Somehting like that.

R It's funny, I had, when you were saying it didn't know English, I was thinking of using Chinese whispers ;-)

P There seems to be a lot more light here. …What did you make of all that, Janet?

J I think I was getting something along the lines of - ^Your intention is to penetrate the levels of higher learning and yet you are not as yet ready to commit the emotional intensity, the passion to this pursuit.

P Meaning what?

J I don't know. ^There is layer on layer of camouflage concealing the treasure of the quest. The answers require a dedication to seeking and the direction is as yet uncertain. But the curiosity will be cultivated during ensuing months until you are prepared to conduct a concentrated search for the answer to a much more specific question than you currently propose.

P Who is you and what is the context.

J Don't know. It seemed to be all of you, like me and you and you.

P So this is a group future agenda?

J So it would seem, I think, I don't know.

R I wondered if it was directed more at me.

P Really?

J In what way?

R It just seemed to be more apt than for Peter but maybe I misunderstood it.

J No, I think it's something for all of us, to be quite honest, and to be approached from our own individual needs. But to be worked on by the group as a whole for each individual query. Or to utilise the energy of the group to seek the answers.

P Well that's interesting because I've been feeling at a bit of a plateau but hadn't got to the point of articulating that that was the case and if so, where to from here. Did you get any hints of the nature of the identity?

J No. A very strong personality. One of those one who comes and infiltrates.

P Comes in from the front?

J Mm.

P But it seemed to me to be very gentle at the same time.

J Yeah, but very definite in intention, I guess.

P So do you think our energy was being smapled, or what.

J No, it's just like an observer.

P Richard, what were your subtle impression during that approach?

R I didn't perceive anything, actually. I did think at one point “oh, it's left me now” because I suddenly felt heavy. That's not quite the right word but I can't think of another way – but I wasn't aware of a presence.

P It was so gentle. Oh well, I would like more information about that as to its nature and purpose and qualities and what it was doing and what it did and why?

20:20

Thank you for being alert to all that, Janet.

J There is one with me who says:

^Use our loving energies to float gently on the river of life. Each has in recent times been sorely tested by various demands on either emotional or intellectual levels. There is to be a period of peace and calm that will rejuvenate your energies and allow you a greater openness of spiritual involvement. We would ask you to work more frequently on your meditative practices of visualisation and guided tranquillity. …

J Peter, is there someone with you?

P Mm, could be.

J I get the words that “you are holding back.” We bid you welcome and ask what you have come for?

P I don't get any words, I just get a kind of heavy feeling as if there is a sadness or regret, a sense of loss, pining for reconnection.

J ^I feel angry with you.

P ^But why? I did nothing to deserve it.

J ^You give us no explanation.

P ^How could I? There is just this heart-wrenching pain inside.

J ^Just tell us. Where have you been?!

P ^Don't know. Lost in my own darkness, perhaps.

J ^But you abandoned us.

P ^I didn't mean to.

J ^Aren't you in control of your own destiny?!

P ^I seem not to be. Where is the goodness that was spoken of? And the healing? And the love? And the higher aspirations? And the transcendence? I've found none of it.

J ^I can't reach you. You are lost to me :-(

P ^Don't say that. Was it all a dream? I thought it was life. I believed in it. Now it seems to be just gone. What am I to believe? I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know what I've created and what was real. I feel like I've been in a world of my own making. What is real? What was real? Somebody tell me what was real! Who do I have to ask what was real? Are there no answers anymore? Where do I have to look? How is one to know?! What is reliable to hold onto? Where can one reach where there is a helping hand of a guiding hand? I feel quite lost. How do I reach out? Am I trapped? Can I move?

J I would ask you to look upward.

P ^Which way is up?

J Search the heavens for a guiding light. This is the path to truth. This is the path -

P ^I see nothing. … I have been expecting help. Perhaps the help is not forthcoming. I must act alone.

J Help is at hand. Help comes from within. The help from within is the acceptance of your condition.

P ^Which is? Where am I then?

J In a limbo state, un-accepting of your own death.

P ^Death?! But I am not dead! How can you speak of death?! I'm just lost! My mind thinks! I have some awareness. What kind I don't quite know but I've been dreaming, or something!

20:40

How can you speak of death!? Death is the end! Isn't it?!!

J Death is only the beginning.

P ^Oh, it's nonsense! The beginning of WHAT!? It's incredible to imagine that one can be dead yet alive! That's a complete contradiction in terms! Well I've been there a long time, I think. I used to be able to find my feet. I don't seem to be able to do that anymore. So how can I move?

R Your reality is a dream that you have constructed for yourself.

P ^Who are you? Where did you come from?!!

R I'm just an observer.

P How many more are there?!!

R You need to lift the veil that you have draped around yourself. You need to reach out from within with passion and look about you.

P ^It's true that I don't see – anything! It's just darkness!

R What would you wish to see?

P ^I have no idea! What should one see in these circumstances? This rediculous state you seem to think constitutes death! And yet I feel alive mentally, or rather more alert than I can't remember when!

R Death is merely a change in state from a physical one to a spiritual one.

P Who told you that crap?

R And if you wish to move on from where you are then perhaps you could consider it, and cast about with your mind.

P ^Well I've been doing that and I've not got very far. It frustrates me! I seem to have a centre of identity, but nothing else. I'm sure it didn't use to be that way. But I'm confused! How can I possibly be alive after I'm dead?! That makes no sense. I don't know that I'm dead,.You tell me I'm dead. But I can't be dead because I'm alive. Therefore you're wrong. I just don't know where I am.

R You are conscious, but you said before that you can't see your feet. You don't have a physical body. Nevertheless you are an entity. You are alive in the sense that you are aware of yourself and you are thinking. And there are others who are in the same condition and who have moved on. If you would like to join them it's merely a matter of reaching out with your mind, casting about, looking for familiar things, looking for light, looking for people you would like to make contact with.

P ^I seem to have a very poor awareness of anybody else that I've known. I must have known somebody. I think I used to, but all that seems lost to me now.

R Who can you recall that you've known well?

P ^I can't remember anybody.

R Do you remember your mother or father?

P ^No. I know the words, I must have had them. Where has that life gone?! What year is it?

R It's the year 2010. What year do you remember being alive in?

P ^See I don't even remember that.

R What do you remember?

P ^Not anything. Wait a minute, I see a street. I see somebody walking, a man. Happy, whistling. Is that me? Sidewalk. Concrete. Trees. Fences. Single-storey houses. Wooden.

R Does that feel familiar?

P ^Well it's better than nothing and it does feel a little as if it might be known to me.

R And who can you see there?

P ^How did I lose it? This is very strange!! If that is someone I knew or perhaps even – me? So happy?

R Can you make contact with that person?

P ^I'm not even sure I want to.

R Do you want to stay where you are?

P ^No! No, I've had enough of that.

R Then you must take a step.

P ^But where? Where is that?

J Just take a step forward.

P Oh, god! Where the hell am I?

J ^At present you are nowhere. There is nothing to hold you in this place. There are no memories. There is no life. The only thing that holds you here is your reluctance.

P ^I seem to see this great space around me. I'm in the middle of space and I'm not falling.

J Look around you for the light. There will be a light to guide you.

P I see you. You were behind some kind of screen. You look blue.

J We wish you god-speed. …

P Oh, that was a weird one! I think somebody came and kind of took him by the hand or something.

J Thank god!!

P They seemed to kind of grab hold and tow him away.

J Our prayers were answered ;-) Oh I hate playing this.

R It was interesting at the beginning that there was this dialogue between you.

J Yeah, it was really strange. I could feel my face being angry!

R And I thought it was these two people in spirit talking to each other.

J I think the first person was actually still alive. And then they returned to a dream state and thought they were dreaming.

P Ok. It was very odd.

J Mm it was quite strange, wasn't it.

P He seemed really clear that if you're alive you can't be dead! :-)

R That's right. :-)

P The residual impression of time was just sometime – 20th century – middish. He seemed to be a happy-go-lucky sort of character just walking down the street whistling, big smile on his face – happy-chappy. But before that it was just all totally blank and dark.

J I'm glad that you started giving him direction Richard. He may never have got off the couch otherwise!

R At one point earlier I had urge to get quite cross with him.

P Really?

J I was cross with him!

R Not excessively but quite firm, perhaps is a better word.

P I think it's really helpful to follow those sorts of things, just wherever it goes.

R I'll do that in future.

J Get a grip, mate!

J (yawns) Well, is there more to come or is that the extent?

R We asked for an explanation of the earlier entity who came.

J Could you pose your question again, Peter?

P Oh, yeah. It was something along the lines of, and particularly focussed around you and your distracted days that sometimes you complain about.

J Oh!

P When you just can't get your head together and feel ineffective as a teacher or even a person.

J Human being! ;-)

P And it occurred to me to ask the question “is that because one's attention is taken away somewhere else to do something perhaps at some other location I some other realm, who knows what? Because I've read of that sort of thing. People just have spacey days and don't know what's going in. But actually they are spiritually involved and the retreat from full attention into this physical domain is for some reason necessary in order to focus more fully on some other level on some other activity. And so it occurred to me to wonder whether that was something that was happening for you? And I have had maybe one or two days this year where I just seemed really quite vacant and I'm damned glad that I haven't been teaching or doing anything involving responsibility like that. And so I just wondered what was going on? …

21:00

J I'm getting – I don't quite know what.

P You've certainly had someone come close to you.

J I've had the term “excuse me, I was somewhere else.” People feeling dispirited; people in certain situations where the spirit has left the body behind because the body continues to function without the will. What is the will but the spirit? And there was something else about sleeping in order to give the spirit freedom. There were a whole lot of connected images there.

P So what you're suggesting is a spiritual reality behind the common sayings?

J Mm! As though we have these recognitions of what is actually happening and they've become part of our language but we are nto fully aware of -

P Of their simple truth.

J Yep. I guess it's one of those feelings that we are in control of ourselves. What is our self? As a physical entity we are in control and yet the physical entity is not reality.

P It's not all of it.

J ^The spirit is the ultimate reality and the person we are is but a construct of time and space, which is physical reality.

P So does that constitute the essence of a 'yes' to the question?

J Sounds like it, doesn't it. Mm.

P So does that mean the reason you need quite a lot of sleep is because you are quite busy elsewhere?

J Apparently. I don't know! What a silly question that is! (note the denial operating here ;-)

P Well it makes very simple sense. And I've been surprised to find that sometimes I just seem to need a lot of sleep. Other times I don't.

J What about you, Richard? Do you experience any of this empty-headedness?

R I wouldn't call it that, I would call it forgetfulness and the type of forgetfulness where you go out to a room to get something and then get distracted and then can't remember why you came out so you have to go back to where you were. But empty-headedness -

J It's not so much empty as stuffed full of cloudy-type obstructing gunge.

R Do you mean negative or confusing thoughts?

J No, no thoughts at all.

R Ok, so it's just sort of vagueness?

J Mm.

P A sense of distraction?

J Mm, but also the vagueness is definitely there.

R So it's a state where you sit and gaze into space and there is nothing going on?

J Yep.

R Which is different from being dispirited. To me dispirited means -

P That's a negative connotation on the term.

J But gazing into space can be pleasant daydreaming. (this is) Gazing into space where you can't make the connections between what you know that you want to be thinking or doing and what you're capable of at the time.

P So a kind of lassitude?

J Mm, I'm not quite sure what lassitude means.

P Oh, just no energy.

R Lethargy.

P A kind of relaxed lethargy rather than depressed lethargy. At least that's how I think of it.

J I dunno. Anyway, for me it's a frustrating feeling, it's not relaxed.

P If you simultaneously have some set of responsibilities that you're supposed to be meeting in the physical and your head's somewhere else -

J But the question was, is your head somewhere else?

P The answer seems to be yes.

J It sound's like Richard's cogent all the time. ;-)

R I don't know that cogent is the right word :-)

J Probably not, What does it mean?

R Like a cogent argument – succinct and compelling.

J Yeah! That's what I was thinking. I've never used that word before.

P Probably helpful to be in that state if one is trying to teach.

J+R Mm.

R Perhaps it's you way of relaxing?

J I'm not relaxed, I'm tense! It's reduced me to shaking and tears sometimes!

R Ah! Now I'm understanding.

J You've never been a blubbering heap, how would you know!

R Oh, the odd occasion I've excelled at that. ;-)

J Anyway, I think it's time to conclude!

P I think so.

(end not transcribed)

[3283 words]

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Peter Calvert - AgapeSchoolinz


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