In recent months, perhaps over the last year, I have become aware of and surprised at the difficulty I have in learning the simple name coriander for the vegetable and herb, first encountered I think in a vegetarian restaurant run by the Hari Krishna's in Queen St, Auckland, in the same block as the St James Theatre. Now long gone, I remember when at a time I think that the statement 'I think, therefore I am' being emblazoned in person-high letters on the side of a wall separating road-works (actually the creation of Aotea Place, I think now) from the coffee-bar that I used to frequent (and I may be telescoping some memories here but never mind) opposite that Hari Krishna restaurant in my student days while attending what is now the Ak Institute of Technology somewhere near Wakefield and Victoria St.
And I had the feeling when I ascended the stairs in that upstairs restaurant that it was the most overpoweringly disgusting aroma I had ever encountered in my entire life, and I felt extreme aversion to it, with rare intensity in terms of any feelings that I experienced in those days. And yet I think I eventually ordered a dish which may have contained some of that disgusting green rubbish.
So that memory and association being in the background, I was introduced, I think by Janet in her purchase of coriander to garnish some dishes in recent years, and I have had to repeatedly ask her “what is the name of that?”; “what is the name of that?”; “what is the name of that?”; and instantly when I heard it, it would disappear out of my awareness again.
And I've learned to recognise that something so slippery in terms of the maintenance within consciousness is usually characterised by having strong disturbing associations, and it is a function of the subconscious mind to eliminate such things from the conscious awareness with alacrity, in order to avoid raising awareness of the underlying issues to the surface of awareness.
So having just now gone out to Janet's garden in Sillary St and again seen the small coriander plant now going to seed in the summer dry of this day (which might be the 28th January 2011: confirmed) and having sought to anchor the initial letters of the name by the linking to that 'c' like my surname; 'o' as being not 'a' but another vowel; 'r' like my second initial; and the 'i' sound like the 'e' sound of Peter, I have thought to take a little time this day to attempt to get to the roots of it!
And there is (some) association within my mind, and I'm not even sure whether it is accurate, but having begun to read a text this morning loaned from Janet called 'One Thousand Chestnut Trees by Mira Stout, and some understanding that coriander is widely used in Asian recipes and perhaps Korean, I don't really know, because that is the subject [Mira Stout is ½ Korean] and perhaps there is a connection with that place and culture, previously unexplored by me.
And I have internally heard a response to the effect that “since you ask, we will tell you.”
^And so we come into another cavern of awareness within the inner mind. The connotations are of depth and complexity and carry within them overtones of doom and gloom and loss and burden, and have required your conscious decision to be open to exploration of whatever emotional intensity and attribute as to enable that inner exploration.
We have cast before you this opportunity in the sense of being for the wider good of knowing oneself. This wider good is generally beneficial although temporarily problematic, or at least there is a risk that such is the case.
And so the herb coriander is known by a variety of names through the cultures of the world, renowned for its vigour, its aromatic prowess, its culinary latitude and its capacity for enhancing any dish to which it is added. Unfortunately there are associations with that culture, and speaking specifically of the Korean, which have acted to sanction the emergence into awareness of associated understanding. And when there is, for good reasons, blocks to sensitivity and awareness containing intense emotional connotation derived from personal experience, it is in order to enable the current life to project itself forward into the current life-plan uncontaminated by old associations. Given that this life has developed to the extent that it has into confidence to assert presently held values developed over many decades now, there is little valid reason to negate access further. And so we elect this day to open these memories for your inspection.
There are several such, as in the same way as habitation in the shores of China were several being 14 in total, so also there have been several although a lesser number of habitations in the Korean culture as it is currently known.
These associations are much older, (from) when the kingdom was barricaded into isolation and very little was known of foreign lands or languages or cultures. And so these are memories circumscribed by merely local awareness, as are most in the history of this one through whom we speak. However it was not necessarily a kingdom at peace within itself and in some periods in its history there was uprising and conflict and (those being) the basis on which the (present) cultural preferences for a peaceful life and civilised values were developed, for such values never develop in isolation but in reaction to prior conflict. And so it was in that culture and five centuries hence the last time you inhabited it.
[NB: In making this statement I first sensed then rejected as unlikely the meaning of five millennia, so articulated five centuries. On subsequent learning the age of that culture via Google today, I think my first received meaning 'millennia' is more likely]
So this traipsing in and out of continents and cultures has been a deliberate feature in your life as it is in most others, seeking diversity of experience, and knowing that from that diversity comes strength.
P The – and I notice a sensation of tightening in my throat as I begin to approach that time and place, and the (emergence of the) idea of a combination of a dish containing poison as well as coriander comes to mind.
And a bleak feeling – “aaghh” (abrupt vocalisation) – and reluctant dying and betrayal, and bitterness over those things. (and the realisation that the aromatic strength of coriander would be a good mask for a poison's flavour. Also that I have in general been avoiding 'flowery' and 'leafy' herbal flavours for more than a decade now in my own cooking in favour of peppery flavours like chilli)
^And so the particular roots are exposed, the culmination of events and death and any directly or even peripherally related substance being more than sufficient to induce aversion.
It is not necessary for the detailed negotiation of the associated feeling-set or lifetime style to be explored, merely to expose the direct associations. With that, the aversion can be annulled.
Peter Calvert - AgapeSchoolinz